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feather_brained's Journal

Created on 2009-04-13 08:56:37 (#19525568), never updated

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Name:	Raziel

Bio

"The Angel has confided in me that he is going to ask the lord if he can become Spider-Man. He watches the television constantly, even when I sleep, and he has become obsessed with the story of the hero who fights demons from the rooftops. The angel says that evil looms larger now than it did in my time, and that calls for greater heroes. The children need heroes, he says. I think he just wants to swing from buildings in tight red jammies."

--Lamb: The Gospel According to Biff, Christ's Childhood Pal

Wondering about the title? Don't worry. Raziel does as well (he's blond for a reason). Thus the Lord sent the angel Raziel forth in the modern day of Man to supervise the new Gospel as written by Levi on the childhood years of Jesus Christ. However, lacking enthusiasm for his mission on Earth, he became distracted and engrossed by television, pizza delivery service and more television.

"For days now the angel had been watching serial dramas on the television, alternately shouting at the screen or bursting into tears."
"It's not real, Raziel."
"What do you mean?"
"Its drama like the Greeks used to do. They are actors in a play"
"No, no one could pretend to do such evil."

...

"Then an advertisement came on the screen...Soap Operal Digest. I watched the angel's eyes widen"
"I need that book"

--Lamb: The Gospel According to Biff, Christ's Childhood Pal

Later he was given the mission (not by God, this time by losing a poker game with the Archangel Michael) of performing a Christmas miracle for a child. Instead Raziel gave Pine Cove a massive headache and a brief zombie invasion. That event, however, is past.

[MICHAEL] [ZADKIEL"]

[ Raziel is a figure in Judeo-Christian mythology. This particular version relies heavily on the books by Christopher Moore, Lamb: The Gospel According to Biff, Christ's Childhood Pal and The Stupidest Angel. I claim no ownership or profit, just trying to get a few laughs. Enjoy. ]

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